From darkness to light

It’s the end of the year, winter solstice has passed. We are moving from darkness to light.

This period of time for me is always a reflective one.

As I look back on this year in my life I see a lot of ups and downs. Challenges, lessons learned and success too. So it is on this journey of life.

My challenges this year on a personal level were great. Through them I grew by leaps and bounds. I did the work I needed to do on me and continue to do so. The silver lining is growth. I may not always see it but I can tell in the way I approach situations and respond differently.

I’ve learned that feelings are just that: feelings. I don’t have to lose myself in them. I can feel the feeling and let it go. I’m learning to honor myself and where I’m at. I’m going to be alright no matter what happens. I’ve got this. I trust myself.

As someone who grew up in a high functioning and performing family I’m learning to be comfortable with where I’m at because I know I am right where I am meant to be. It can be challenging at times but the gap between where I am and what I want needs to be manageable. Baby steps.

I’m learning to be mindful of the committee in my head. I teach positive psychology and when I take a moment to notice what’s going on in there it can be alarming at times. I go back to breath. I breathe and slow things down. Breath is connected to thought, thought is connected to feeling and feeling is connected to action. Awareness, acceptance and action. That’s the key to positive change for me.

What you focus on expands. I’m reminding myself that I need to make sure I am focusing on the positive. Life is easier then. Thoughts become things, choose the good ones.

I’m learning to be mindful and to stay in the present. How often am I in the past or flying forward into the future? A lot. Present. Moment by moment, breath by breath. Live and let live. Enjoy this life. Live it fully. Soak in its juices. Be.

I tend to be fairly serious by nature. A thinker. Learning to lighten up, laugh and have fun and surround myself with positive people helps. A lot.

I’m learning to go with the flow. That’s a big one. Control has been a big part of my family of origin. Planning, taking action and moving forward. I know how to do that. Going with the flow is whole other kettle of fish. Again it comes back to breathing, relaxing and trusting that I am right where I need to be even though I may think otherwise.

Thanks for the fruitful year Universe. It’s been challenging at times, however, the growth has been extraordinary. There are many blessings to be grateful for.

I’m reflecting on what my word for 2017 will be. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Running

I have been running lately, not the lace up your shoes, put your sports bra and spandex on kind of running but the running of a store kind.  It’s a new challenge for me, one I hope will stick.  It’s almost been a month and I am finally starting to feel more comfortable in my role.  The first few weeks were tough, as my partner can readily attest, I’d invariably end my days in tears saying to myself: “I can’t do this.”  My drives home in the car would be filled with conversations with my itty bitty shitty committee and finally a renewed resolve would appear in some way or another.

What I learnt was I needed to go back to basics and take care of myself.  It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, any new job is, especially when you are responsable for staff, budgets, sales.  It’s a lot.  Eight hours on a sales floor is a lot, coupled with all the details of management it’s big.  I am pleased to say my days are filled with more laughs and funny stories.  I have fun on the floor with my customers.  I have characters for business neighbors.  Oh the stories!  I now regale my partner with the challenging moments but also the good ones.  I pat myself on the back for a job well done.  I enjoy being constantly on the move all day.  There are moments when I forget to go to the bathroom and realize a while later I still haven’t been and then there are quiet days like yesterday where traffic is slow but I get to organize and remerchandise.  Believe it or not, it calms and quiets my mind.

I have a fantastic boss, an incredible support network of other store managers and staff that keep me on my toes.  Yes there have been all sorts of mistakes, I truly believe gremlins inhabit my store and mess with anything electronic, if something has to go wrong it will but invariably the successes seem to outweigh the negatives.  The most rewarding of which is making customers happy which in turn, makes my role seem worthwhile.