From darkness to light

It’s the end of the year, winter solstice has passed. We are moving from darkness to light.

This period of time for me is always a reflective one.

As I look back on this year in my life I see a lot of ups and downs. Challenges, lessons learned and success too. So it is on this journey of life.

My challenges this year on a personal level were great. Through them I grew by leaps and bounds. I did the work I needed to do on me and continue to do so. The silver lining is growth. I may not always see it but I can tell in the way I approach situations and respond differently.

I’ve learned that feelings are just that: feelings. I don’t have to lose myself in them. I can feel the feeling and let it go. I’m learning to honor myself and where I’m at. I’m going to be alright no matter what happens. I’ve got this. I trust myself.

As someone who grew up in a high functioning and performing family I’m learning to be comfortable with where I’m at because I know I am right where I am meant to be. It can be challenging at times but the gap between where I am and what I want needs to be manageable. Baby steps.

I’m learning to be mindful of the committee in my head. I teach positive psychology and when I take a moment to notice what’s going on in there it can be alarming at times. I go back to breath. I breathe and slow things down. Breath is connected to thought, thought is connected to feeling and feeling is connected to action. Awareness, acceptance and action. That’s the key to positive change for me.

What you focus on expands. I’m reminding myself that I need to make sure I am focusing on the positive. Life is easier then. Thoughts become things, choose the good ones.

I’m learning to be mindful and to stay in the present. How often am I in the past or flying forward into the future? A lot. Present. Moment by moment, breath by breath. Live and let live. Enjoy this life. Live it fully. Soak in its juices. Be.

I tend to be fairly serious by nature. A thinker. Learning to lighten up, laugh and have fun and surround myself with positive people helps. A lot.

I’m learning to go with the flow. That’s a big one. Control has been a big part of my family of origin. Planning, taking action and moving forward. I know how to do that. Going with the flow is whole other kettle of fish. Again it comes back to breathing, relaxing and trusting that I am right where I need to be even though I may think otherwise.

Thanks for the fruitful year Universe. It’s been challenging at times, however, the growth has been extraordinary. There are many blessings to be grateful for.

I’m reflecting on what my word for 2017 will be. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Detaching with love

The concept of detaching with love is a powerful one.  Its value has proven itself time and time again in my life.  I have been reminded of the power of detaching with love yet again lately. 

James’ passing has been a call to action for me.  I have been spending too much time watching my life go by.  Enough.  So a week ago I sat down with my mentor and we came up with a plan.  How do I go about setting up a business doing what it is I excel at?  We brainstormed, he shared his lessons learned and insights around setting up his own business.  All in all something he has been waiting for me jump on for over 6 months.  I’m ready, the time is now.  I left on the biggest high I have yet to experience.

Unfortunately my actions in the past week threw me right back into an unresourceful place, this stuck place I have been scared to leave for so long.  I realized in that space that it became about fear, control and power struggles.  Not good.  I had forgotten to detach with love.  Instead I got wrapped up in my mother’s return home and her stories; created some of my own with the man I love and managed to get us right back into a place that doesn’t work for us.  So yesterday I pulled myself back out again, asked for forgiveness and my hope is that I learn from this yet again.

Thanks James for the kick in the pants, what a gift.  More lessons learned.  Moving forward with purpose.  Priceless.

Control

Control.  How does it show up in your life?

I grew up in a family where control was omnipresent.  Generally the people who wield control have none so they feel the need to exert it over others.  Not good.  Strange how I now find myself in a relationship where control is displayed.

I guess the people who exert control in my life are there to be my teachers.  I can choose whether to do the dance with them or not.

Recently control was exercised when it came time to garner my parents’ support in buying a house.  They would have none of it.  The house was too big, too old and they would not support my decision.  Nevermind that the house had been lovingly taken care of, there had been upgrades over the years and that I wanted to have a family there.  None of that seemed to matter.  I had no choice but to capitulate without their financial support.

I have not given up on the house, it’s what I want.  I intend on doing my best to make it happen.