Gratitude

I woke up feeling grateful Easter Sunday.

Despite having a cold, I’m still healthy.

I have a roof over my head, running water, food. The basics are covered.

I looked a little deeper and realized my heart was full.

I had done sports psychology sessions with ski clubs again this winter and continued on with my private clients.

I also worked at the ski hill doing something I love. I met some great people at the shop and I had fun. Being a social animal I enjoy interacting with customers and am good at it. I became shop mom to the kids working at the shop, plying them with muffins and other baked goods.

It’s a rare occurrence for me to find work I truly enjoy outside of sports psychology but I was in my happy place at the hill with all the skiing I could manage. A blessing.

As I looked out the window at the blue sky and the sun shining, I had this profound sense of contentment and peace. Life is good.

Even though my beloved ski season is drawing to a close in a few short weeks and I have to seek employment elsewhere, I’m happy with a job well done. Truly.

A former client has just come back to work with me which makes my heart sing.

Spring is unfolding and with it the promise of growth, renewal and change.

I’m looking forward to seeing what comes.

Happy Easter with your loved ones.

 

 

 

 

New year, new shift

Well it’s again been a while since I’ve written.

My absence can be explained, in part, by the fact I went back to work. In true Natalie fashion, I went big and did not go home. The Universe blessed me with two wonderful job opportunities within days of each other. I enjoyed both so I went from working in my business from home to working six days a week.

Whoah! Big adjustment.

I love retail. Sales has got to be the toughest job but so rewarding because you get to make people happy. I was fortunate enough to find a job with Twiss and Weber, a fantastic local duo who design and create their own line. They are cutting edge and showcase a lot of local Canadian made designers. Their motto is “Take command of your own style.” They do it with flair. I believe in their dream and am honored to be a part of their team. Their style can be characterized by what would Joan Jett wear to a job interview?

The other job is in communications for a huge financial management transformation project. A complex, multi-year, billion dollar initiative to transform the way the government of Canada conducts its business by bringing value to Canadians and better informed decisions benefitting everyone.

Wonderful opportunities.

I went full speed ahead for two months and hit the wall in December. I had a wisdom tooth removed, hopefully I did not lose wisdom with it. All kidding aside, I realized how much I had on my plate when I stopped. I started clearing, bit by bit I removed items and the Universe helped. My retail boss gave me a seasonal break to focus on my contract and skiing after I missed the busiest Saturday of the year right before Christmas.

Part of my new shift is to honor my commitments. It was my partner who helped me see that being alone on a sales floor after surgery was probably not a good idea and a liability. Shortly thereafter I was removed from the schedule. I panicked. Oh no! I’m being let go. The itty bitty shitty committee took over once again. Instead of walking away with my tail between my legs I went to see my boss and asked what was going on. I think I asked her at least three times if I was being fired. This has happened in the past you see.

Prior to these events I found out on Friday the 13th I wasn’t going to get renewed in January due to lack of funding. Old Natalie would have again slinked away. I fought. Hard.

I went to the top of the food chain and plead my case. They needed to capitalize on their investment and I was just starting to get my legs under me. Meanwhile I leveraged every other contact I had within the organization. I busted my butt to be renewed. A first for me in any governement contract I’ve ever done. Ever.

So here I sit. I’ve shifted. In both my professional life and my personal one but that’s a topic for next time.

How about you? Have you experienced shifts lately? What were the outcomes? I’d love to hear from you so weigh in the comments below.

All my best to a healthy, peaceful and successful year ahead. Keep shifting!

Work habits

What do your work habits look like?  It’s fair to say I’ve been going non stop in the 3 months since I began my job, things have slowed down a wee bit or maybe I just have a better team in place that I can take things a little easier.  I got flak for my work habits from my partner yesterday.  I had left work early.

Considering the blood, sweat and tears I’ve put into my job I’m not concerned about leaving work early.  He is.  You see it reminds him of old me and my old patterns with regards to work.  I can’t blame him.  I lost my last job and countless others because of it.  I’m happy to say it’s not my intent to do so now.

I used to sabotage myself a lot, one of the ways I’d do it was at work, showing up late or not showing up at all would inevitably lead me down the path of no return.  Usually it was because I didn’t like the work I was doing.  I’m happy to say I still enjoy what I’m up to.  No two days are ever the same, I’m on the move a lot and the work fuels me.

So there you go, leaving work early doesn’t necessarily mean I’m back to my old tricks, it just means I’m leaving work early.

Searching for my groove

I’m a little concerned.  I’ve been in my dream job for a little over four months now.  I should be happy, right?

The reality is that jobs ebb and flow.  Since July I have definitely been on the fence, things slowed down to a crawl and suddenly I became restless.  I went away on vacation and found myself not wanting to go back.

I called in sick today because I don’t want to go in.

Now this is a serious cause for concern for me because I am really good at sabotaging myself.  So I’m wondering what this is all about.

I’ll go back to work tomorrow and fake it till I make it in the hopes that something changes.  Sooner rather than later I hope.

Is it my artistic nature to be restless or is this something bigger?

Between a rock and a hard place

I feel the need to explain my silence lately.  You see I haven’t been in the right headspace to date let alone write.  I’m stressed and worried about the fact I’m not working and that my benefits have run out with nary a contract in sight.  I’ve never worked so hard to find a contract or had my name put forward for so many only to have nothing materialize.  There must be a message in there somewhere.  Maybe I need to do something else, right now the prospect of slinging lattes is less than enticing.

My lack of coping skills has meant that I have spent an inordinate amount of time in bed the past few days, not dealing.  Thank goodness for the snow storm and shovelling.  I didn’t think I’d ever say that but there’s nothing like physical activity to get you out of a funk.  I almost passed out in the snowbank this afternoon and realized I haven’t been eating much.  Not good.  So tomorrow I vow to do groceries and look at my jobless situation from another angle. 

I’ve learned to cut back and live on less when I’m not working, I don’t necessarily have to go back to mind numbing federal contract work, since that doesn’t seem to be working out anyway.  My dream is to run my own little cafe and artists’ cooperative.  Something along the lines of  Groundz in Almonte.  They even have musicians come in the evenings!  As my friends can attest, I’m a good cook, I love love love to cook.  I’d like a breakfast and lunch type cafe, that way I can stick to what I’m good at.  Soups, salads, sandwiches, chili and desserts, that sort of thing.  Oh!  I’d be in heaven if I could do that, I know it would be hard work but when your heart is engaged in something it’s different, right?

Oh universe hear my prayers and put the right opportunity in my path!