Fear of failure

This topic is a big one for me.

Fear of failure can easily rule me. It prevents me from beginning and finishing projects. It’s a great tool for self-sabotage. It can keep me stuck. It has many times.

Are fear of failure and perfectionism the same thing? I’m not sure but I do believe they are on the same spectrum.

They can be different responses to the same internal struggle.The worst thing about fear of failure is that it keeps us from trying.From chasing dreams and taking risks.From being vulnerable. From living. It shrinks the world we live in to a comfortable, predictable, fearful experience.

My business coach always says to take imperfect action. Done is better than perfect. Words of wisdom.

I think it all comes down to baby steps. It’s hard to break the bonds of the fear of failure but I believe in action. Keep going even when you don’t want to. Action helps get us unstuck. It keeps us moving forward.

Babe Ruth once said: “never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” It’s a powerful metaphor for life. Fear of failure will keep you from experiencing life to the fullest. Don’t let it.





Thanks 2012, welcome 2013!

It’s the end of yet another year.  Time does fly doesn’t it?

This year has been the year of the dragon, an extremely powerful, successful year for me, at least that’s what was predicted.

I’d say, on the whole, that it was a good year.  My first running my own business, I’m proud of the work I’ve done and the clients I’ve helped.

It’s also fair to say I’ve slipped, as someone who comes from a family with addictions I believe this is an integral part of my journey.  The highs and lows have by no means disappeared but they are getting less prevalent and less intense which is an absolute blessing.

I remember this time last year sitting on a beach in the Bahamas writing down my goals for the year in the sand.  You know what?  Everything manifested, that’s the power of intention.  Amazing isn’t it?

This year I’m heading into a new year aware of what I would like to manifest.  I’ve chosen a word for 2013, abundance.  I want abundance both in my life and work.

I’ve learned some valuable lessons this year, I’ve matured along the way too.  I’ve learned compromise, respect and communication are all necessary elements in my relationship. I’ve had a year of change.  I’ve decided to take the next step in my relationship and buy a house with someone.  Not easy for someone challenged by commitment. Yet I did it despite the fear and you know what?  It certainly has by no means been easy but we’re making it work.

All that to say I’m really looking forward to 2013, may it be filled with good health, happiness, peace and abundance.

New beginnings

It’s been over 2 months since I’ve last written.  Trust me when I say a LOT has happened since then.  It’s been all for the good, though at some points I truly wondered whether it was.  Hindsight truly is 20/20. 

The catalyst for change began before I left for a 2 week holiday to the Bahamas.   

I was working a high end retail job that no matter how hard I tried to convince myself was good just wasn’t for me.  In a superfcial world of clothing making someone feel good about themselves is important but all the clothes in the world won’t fill the void inside.  As a former shopaholic I know that all too well. So when it ended I was relieved.

I know that 2012 is about love and compassion.  As a change agent, I cannot force change, instead I have to let people struggle or thrive and figure it out on their own while offering guidance when necessary.  I could feel the change coming in December.  I was no longer content with the status quo in my own life or in my relationship.

It’s fair to say that 2011 was a tough year for me by choice.  I chose to hide.  Hide from my power, hide from those who love me because I did not feel worthy and consequently hide from the world. It’s sad really but I truly believe it took the heartache, sadness and struggle to be where I am now.

My holiday was about perspectve and I got it in spades.  It truly is possible to be miserable in paradise.  The adage of wherever you go there you are holds true. There were moments of incredible beauty, joy and awe, however, it felt like I had work to do.

So I processed surrounded by my family.  I got to practice letting go with love.  I got to be triggered and have yet another opportunity for growth.  I got to speak my truth and recite the serenity prayer over and over again. I got to experience laughter, love and joy too.

The most important outcome of the trip was twofold: I discovered my brother as an adult after a 20 year hiatus and I came back to myself.

So here I am standing in this new found space. 

The decisions I made and goals I set for myself in the Bahamas are changing and evolving with the reality here in Ottawa.  Instead of cutting out what doesn’t work, an old pattern, I have learnt to stay open and receptive and to work towards change with someone instead of alone.

It’s a pretty great space to be in.

I will keep you posted.

Do over day

What would you do if you had a do over day where nothing sticks? I was watching a new favorite tv show and the premise of the show was just that.  Nothing stuck.

I try and live my life with no regrets but when I think about it there’s plenty I’d go back and change.  Mostly around some poor choices I made which ended up hurting others.

It’s food for thought isn’t it?  What would you go back and change if you could?  I’m all about lessons learned and believe that what others perceive as failure is more like feedback but the idea interests me nonetheless.

Tell me what you think, I’m curious.