Intention for the year

I’ve been remiss in writing lately but have been meaning to get this post out.

Every year I choose a word to set an intention for the year.

This year a friend suggested my theme. It’s all about letting go for me this year.

This piece which I love describes my intentions well, it was written by Rev. Safire Rose

She Let Go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of fear. She let go of the judgements.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go. She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go….She didn’t research the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all the memories that held her back.

She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five step spiritual mind treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and moon shone forevermore.

Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go.

I intend to reread this as much as I need to this year and apply it to my life.

Thanks Wayne xo

 

Advertisements

Loss and meaning

This post has been brewing for a month since one of my clients lost a friend ski racing.

Death is not something we connect to ski racing usually, horrible falls and bad injuries certainly but not death.

Since the beginning of the season two ski racers have died.

It’s a horrible statement to make.

David Poisson, a member of the French ski racing team died in Nakiska in early season training in November when he caught an edge, crashed through safety netting and hit a tree. He was 35 years old.

In early December, my client was racing a downhill in the Nor-Am Cup in Lake Louise when I got texts about a teammate being involved in a bad crash.

17 year old Max Burkhart went off course into safety netting and was airlifted to hospital. He later died of his injuries.

Somehow death is not something I ever thought I’d have to deal with in my practice. I remember taking a moment and praying before calling my client. Asking for guidance to say the right words that would give her some measure of comfort. All I could do was listen and be there for her.

She was heart broken and wanted to go home.

Max’s death hit me hard. I’m still not sure why.

I attract the clients I work with for a reason. Her parents wanted her to stick it out for the rest of the race series and be with her teammates. To get back on the horse. It’s probably what my parents would have wanted too.

My client just wanted to go home so I stood by her and advocated for her.

Someone I did my graduate studies with said it was great I got to be the person I needed for my clients when I was their age.

It was a big realization for me.

I’m grateful for the relationships I have with my clients. I grow because of them. I know they learn from me as well.

I’m glad I was able to support my client through a really tough time no kid should have to go through.

Rest in peace Max. My heart goes out to his family, friends and the ski community who knew and loved him. I hope they find peace.

Grounding

How do you stay grounded when everything is swirling around you?

Lately it feels as though my life has been upended.

Everything I know has shifted. It’s a time of huge transformation in all facets of my life.

Of letting go of the old and having faith that what is coming will be amazing. It so will. I can feel it.

Where is the safest spot in a tornado? At its very center, that is where the calm lies.

It takes courage, strength and faith to believe that I will come through this completely transformed. I KNOW I will.

It’s MY time. To live the life I have always wanted. To be of service to as many as I can through my gifts in sports psychology.

No more hiding. No more playing small. No more dimming my light. NO MORE.

I have a vision. I have peeps who love me, keep me grounded and cheer me on. I have faith in a force greater than me that will manifest all my heart’s desires. I believe.

I have manifested plenty in my life. The power of intention is huge. Where your breath goes, your focus goes. What you focus on expands. Make it intentional, amazing and big.

I am so mindful of my word lately. Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements have come back into my life at the right time.

The first agreement is to be impeccable with your Word. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.”

I have been challenged by that agreement repeatedly lately about the words I say to myself. The itty bitty shitty committee is fierce lately. Shut up ego. Enough.

When this happens, I return to breath and breathe. Deep belly breaths and as many as it takes to come back to center and to me.

My return to a stronger yoga practice helps, meditation helps, walks help. Returning to breath in the midst of a tornado helps. Repeating to myself I am safe, I am love and I am peace.

It’s a challenge to stay grounded amidst whirling dervishes and transformation. Self-care is key.

Step by step, moment to moment and breath to breath.

Breathe. All will be well.

 

 

 

Gratitude

I woke up feeling grateful Easter Sunday.

Despite having a cold, I’m still healthy.

I have a roof over my head, running water, food. The basics are covered.

I looked a little deeper and realized my heart was full.

I had done sports psychology sessions with ski clubs again this winter and continued on with my private clients.

I also worked at the ski hill doing something I love. I met some great people at the shop and I had fun. Being a social animal I enjoy interacting with customers and am good at it. I became shop mom to the kids working at the shop, plying them with muffins and other baked goods.

It’s a rare occurrence for me to find work I truly enjoy outside of sports psychology but I was in my happy place at the hill with all the skiing I could manage. A blessing.

As I looked out the window at the blue sky and the sun shining, I had this profound sense of contentment and peace. Life is good.

Even though my beloved ski season is drawing to a close in a few short weeks and I have to seek employment elsewhere, I’m happy with a job well done. Truly.

A former client has just come back to work with me which makes my heart sing.

Spring is unfolding and with it the promise of growth, renewal and change.

I’m looking forward to seeing what comes.

Happy Easter with your loved ones.

 

 

 

 

Peacefulness

Peace.  What does it mean to you?  How does it manifest in your life?  Where do you live it most?

I’m feeling pretty peaceful lately.  Things are going well at work.  The turmoil that was my relationship has smoothed out.  The session we had with my healer did wonders for us.  It’s a good place to be. I’m not going to question where I’m at, I’m just going to enjoy it and go along for the ride.

I’m hopeful.  Hopeful for my future and the steps I am taking to move forward.  I’m looking forward to getting back into painting, maybe a show this summer.  I’m heading out for inspiration this weekend on an art tour with my beloved, I’m looking forward to it.

I’m hoping to just sit still and be sometime this weekend, soak up some sun and marvel at how blessedly simple life can be.

Peace

Peace.  It comes moment by moment, and day by day.  Meditation helps.  Staying in the present helps.  Gratitude helps.  Loving myself helps.  I feel strangely detached from the events of two weeks ago.  Seems like something which happened to someone else a long time ago.  Not sure whether it’s a defense mechanism kicking in or because it was simply meant to be.  Feels like a great weight has lifted somehow and I’ve finally set myself free.

I feel so light, happy and grounded.  Friends have noticed the difference.  I’m like a butterfly they said.  I guess that’s what happens when you use your wings and fly.  I feel good, the sun is shining, spring is in the air.  A new world coming to life, the birth of promise, growth and beauty. I can definitely resonate with all of that.

Here’s to peace, may it continue.

Reflections

It’s been a tumultuous few weeks, I feel a shift in the air somehow.  Maybe it’s February and all its gifts, Valentine’s day, the Chinese New Year, the new moon or a combination thereof.  I feel restless, one of my clients informed me it’s the year of the tiger the other day and I’m a tiger, maybe that explains it.  It’s my year and I want my intentions to be focused, clear and good.

I’m looking at my life and reflecting on the year ahead, where I’d like my path to go and more importantly what’s missing.  I know what we focus on expands so I’m being very careful and asking myself instead what I want.  The answer is simple: love, peace and balance.  The how is more challenging but I know the Universe lines up to deliver those gifts so I’m going to focus simply on what it is I want more precisely.

Love.  What does that mean? To be better able to love myself first and foremost.  It’s the little things: being gentle on myself, forgiving myself and being grateful.  That’s loving myself better.  I know once my vibration changes from my heart’s center, the Universe responds at a different level and delivers all sorts of gifts.  More importantly, my perception also changes and I see and feel love more readily.  I spoke of abundance as my word of the year.  I want to shower myself in love, I feel this to be my greatest challenge. 

Peace.  Ah peace you are so elusive to me.  As my beloved yoga teacher often says we know peace in the moments it leaves us.  Peace is fleeting, it rests gently on my shoulders like a soft veil and the next moment it is gone.  I treasure the moments of peace I get, whether it’s walking in nature, lost in painting, listening to music or skiing.  My new meditation practice has already brought me peace.  I sit with myself, quiet my mind and focus on a mantra and I’m gone.  It’s like following a furrow at first, then monkey mind takes over, thoughts come and go, I refocus on my mantra and I come back to center.  At the end of my meditation sessions in the morning and at night, I feel more peaceful, centered and grounded.  It’s incredible, I’ve just begun and I can feel the difference already.

Balance.  My ultimate outcome, the one I so greatly desire.  My life seems to be ruled by an emotional rollercoaster.  I am who I am because of my emotions and the intensity with which I feel.  I am highly kinesthetic, and so a big feeler.  It’s how I process information first.  It’s a gift, I’m like a big kid most of the time, truly young at heart, intense, caring, I wear my heart on my sleeve, very much alive.  It’s what makes me such a great artist and person, however, it’s not always easy being a feeler.  I sometimes take things too personaly, I hurt myself and get hurt easily.  The depths of darkness, like sadness and anger scare me and I watch myself so I don’t slip into them.  I know they are just feelings, how important it is to process them and they too shall pass.  I will come out on the other side and be alright.  Balance like a pendulum swinging, always coming back to center, staying in the present moment, grounded.

Love, peace, balance.  A pretty good wish list don’t you think?