Light shining

I am a dream seeker and a rebel. I’ve never fit a mold and if there was one, it was broken a very long time ago.

I care deeply about myself, my life and those who matter to me but mostly I am about making a difference in this one amazing life.

I wasn’t born to play small, and while life has tried to knock me down more times than I can count. I’ve picked myself up, dusted myself off and moved on.

I strive to live my life with the guts to be myself unapologetically.

Having guts means that I’m willing to risk and to go after what I love.

I stay up late and wake up early chasing dreams and making them happen.

I often find myself alone because of my choices, however, I know there are a whole lot of us out there striving to break free from the mold to be well-behaved women to be loved. I know because I’ve met them and can count them as mentors and dear friends.

I can’t follow the rules for the life of me. When given the choice, I will always follow the most difficult road because that’s where I learn the most.

I have to take care of myself. Who else is going to do it for me? I am the master of keeping my shit together even when it seems I can’t take another step.

I tuck myself into bed each night. It’s not because I don’t want a lover with me but because I know that unless it’s the real thing, solitude is so much sweeter than putting on an act.

I refuse to conform no matter how many times people shake their heads.

Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why can’t I stay in an unhappy relationship? Why can’t I stay with a secure job? Why can’t I suck it up because I’m an adult? Because that is what adults are supposed to do, isn’t it?

No. Hells to the no. I was born differently. Where others see stability, I see stifling.

I won’t give up on the desires of my heart.

I may seem to be wandering aimlessly sometimes, it’s all part of the plan. I may drive you crazy at times, and scare the shit out of you but life would be boring any other way.

Marianne Williamson said it best didn’t she?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I’ve lived this quote. I’ve inspired others to live this quote. I will continue on this path because it is the only way I know.

I get scared shitless sometimes. We all do. It is the measure of who we are to have the courage to continue. To believe in our dreams. To believe in our path. To awaken. I truly believe we are spiritual beings living a human existence.

Don’t you?

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Injury

Injury.

It’s heart shattering for athletes isn’t it?

Having been through a severed achilles that sidelined me for the better part of a year, I know exactly how it feels.

I was speaking to one of my clients the other day who was playing through injury. He’s a tennis player and has a rotator cuff injury from overuse.

He’s had to cut back on playing significantly, however, he is playing in a tournament this weekend.

My question was: “Why are you still playing?”

He had done a camp the week before and played 35 hours of tennis. 35 HOURS with an injured rotator cuff. Um hello?

This is a kid who pushes himself to the extremes.

He told me a story where he had sprained not just one but both ankles on the court and refused to get off even though he was injured. An official begged him to get off, saying he’d happily refund him his money.

I was laughing so hard as he told me this story because I could just picture it.

We had a conversation around managing himself. About strategies to deal with the pain when it does come when he’s on the court in a match. To stop. To listen to his body. To give it the time it needs to heal.

I taught him how to do healing imagery to help his shoulder.

I reminded him of his breath, his court rituals and that he’s got this.

Sometimes that’s all you need isn’t it?

Someone to hear you, give you some strategies if needed and to believe in you.

How do you handle injury?