Lessons learned

I found this post saved in my drafts from the end of January and thought it was worth hauling out, dusting off and publishing with a new ending.

I spent a week during the holidays teaching sports psychology to ski racers from U10s to U18s.  It was a great week; I really enjoy imparting knowledge to young people.

There were definite highlights.

Such as when I asked the younger groups what their happy place was.  I got varied responses such as candyland, my bed, and most endearingly in my mom’s arms.  Awww.

I was also asked the question in return from my under 12 group which I thought really endearing and replied being there with them teaching them some important mental tools.

On a sad note, I’ve just found out my achilles is torn and I’m out for the ski season.  I had a nasty skiing injury at the end of December.  I don’t often fall but when I do, I go down in spectacular fasion. This time I hit a nasty compression I never saw and face planted, bending my partner’s skis and knocking the wind out of myself.  I knew I was in trouble when I couldn’t walk and my leg really hurt.

So I saw my doctor when I got back from holidays and started physiotherapy.  Within a week the physiotherapist sent me to see a doctor to get an ultrasound and a referral to see an orthopedic surgeon.  So here I am now, diagnosis in hand, with a very heavy heart.

Words cannot describe the loss of my ski season.  I don’t expect those who didn’t grow up immersed in skiing to understand.  To me the loss is crushing. 

I’ve written here before about how profound my attachment to skiing is.  How being on the hill is one of the few things that makes my heart sing.  Skiing allows me to get grounded and come back to myself.  I have healed broken hearts and bad days simply by putting my skis on and doing what I love most.

So here I sit 4 months later and I cannot begin to tell you the impact this injury has had on my life.  A friend of mine who sustained an injury that kept her for immobilized for a year shared some wisdom with me.  Injuries have a way of shaking up our lives and highlighting things in a unique way.

There are moments I still feel shell shocked and days were I feel hope.  This injury has literally and figuratively forced me to stand on my own two feet. It has left no part of my life unaffected. I am in the midst of massive change, one which I hope leaves me feeling a little more whole, peaceful and happy on the other end.

Stay tuned.

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