Recovery

Again it’s been a while since I’ve written, I know I say that every time. 

My blog doesn’t judge me, doesn’t hold a grudge and I’m pretty sure it’s happy when I visit 🙂

My silence can be attributed to a serious injury and recovery.  I had a really bad ski accident at the end of December.  Turns out I’ve severed my achilles so I’m out for the season and am told it will take a full year to recover.

For a type A, go getter, who wanted it all yesterday kind of girl it’s been a really humbling experience to put it mildly. 

I was in denial for a solid 5 weeks until I saw the orthopedic surgeon who promptly declared, after performing a small test, that my achilles was indeed severed. Then the tears came and with it the grief.  The loss of a ski season certainly but also a loss of identity.

You see my whole identity is wrapped up in being an athlete.  As someone near and dear said my soul lives for winter and the fun I can have on the slopes.

So I went through all 5 stages of the grieving process.  I hid in bed for weeks.  I’m pretty much housebound in a walking cast and since it’s my right leg, I can no longer drive.

So I’ve become very dependent on my partner, friends and neighbors for errands.  I have at least another 8 weeks in the walking cast so my freedom won’t come anytime soon.

I’ve learned so many lessons.  Years ago I learned to ask for help.  I’ve had to relearn that one in spades.

As a girl friend, who was laid up with an injury for the major part of year, said an injury happens for a reason and shifts things.  Boy did it ever.  My life and my relationship have taken direct hits.

My heart goes out to my partner who has been a great support throughout this process.  He was on the receiving end of the my anger, sadness and melancholy.

As for me, I’ve started rehabilitation and have come out of the heavy cloud of grief.  As spring approaches, I can appreciate the sounds of birds, the warmth of the sun when I sit on the bench on my doorstep and the coolness of the air.

Small joys.

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