I’ve been dreaming a lot lately, more like nightmares actually.  They all have a recurring theme, my partner leaving me.  I know what it’s about, whenever we get into a tough spot he threatens to leave.  It’s tough.  Obviously my subconscious is finding it challenging too.

I love this man.  The depth and breadth of my feelings for him are pretty huge.  It’s mornings like this where he’s in bed sleeping and I have time to myself that it hits me.  I inevitably tear up and am overwhelmed.

There have been all sorts of challenges lately.  The house buying thing is not as simple as it seemed.  I’m reconciling reality with what my heart really wants.  I want to move on and move out, start a life with my partner, have a baby.  My biological clock is past the ticking stage, it’s full out ringing now, has been for a while.  I can’t get enough of the babies who come to my store, if I could get in the stroller with them I would. 

I’m tired of waiting.  I love this man and want a life with him.  Why is that so difficult?


One thought on “Love

  1. J VO says:

    Yes, obviously, you are attached to him. But does he really love you back? Why does he threaten you to leave whenever it’s tough? Sounds like manipulation. I should know, I’ve been in that type of relationship before. Because he threatens to break up, it makes you cling more and think the relationship is valuable. See the vicious circle? Love yourself enough to know that your man should treat you well, simply because he truly loves you. In any case, do people even treat their friends this way? No. So it would be bad to expect this type of behaviour in a love relationship, right? Besides, if he always wants to leave, how committed and devoted will he be if he becomes the father of your children? Why love someone who hurts you? Doesn’t make sense. In any case, I really hope you find inner peace and happiness.

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