Magic.   It’s what the man I love and I have when we are at our best.  It’s what we experienced the first couple of weeks we were back together.  It’s what I believe we are truly capable of. 

We are not in a good place.  There seems to be constant obstacles to our success together.  Lately I can’t seem to do anything right by him, in fact, I seem to be a constant source of aggravation for him.  The distance between us doesn’t help.  I wrote a post this morning which upset him, he has asked me not to air our dirty laundry in public.  I haven’t always been great at respecting his wishes.  It has susbsequently caused him to want to give up on us.  What’s worse is I received the news by text and phone, wonderful.

We have had a rough week, there have been lots of fights and we haven’t been the most resourceful at dealing with them.  I can be pretty demanding in wanting attention in terms of time and contact, I know that but I don’t think asking to speak with your partner every day is a big deal.  It seems to be for him.

I don’t know what do at this point, I am at a complete and utter loss.  I know that once again I am heart broken, sad and angry.  I do believe in magic and I do believe in the magic we are capable of creating together.  I don’t think he does.


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