Sundays

I’m seeing a pattern emerge on Sundays.  Sundays are my day off, so when I wake up my thoughts automatically seem to drift to where I’d be if I was still in relationship.  At the chalet with him, a day of skiing ahead of us to look forward to.  Inevitably sadness comes, and with it a sense of loss.  Yesterday I got up, did my meditation, went for a walk and then on to brunch with friends.

I guess the Sunday pattern was biding its time because sadness hit on the drive home when a song came on the radio, all of a sudden great tears were running down my cheeks and grief washed over me.  I’ve learned to allow my feelings to rise up, and to stay present  to them knowing eventually they will pass.  Stuffing them does not work, they just come back in more insidious ways.  I go back to basics when emotions hit.  Yesterday I got myself home, made myself a cup of tea, reached out to a friend and sat out in the sunshine with a book. 

There is an energy to Sundays I am not sure I like, I will go with it for now, allowing whatever comes up to come up as I am sure it’s part of the process.  Once I’m ready I intend to shift Sunday energy to more positive, hopeful and peaceful places.

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