Insight

I am by nature reflective, I believe it important to my growth.  Last night I went out and listened to live music.  A friend was singing and the band was awesome.  It was a great night out.  I realized I hadn’t been out to listen to live music, something I love, in the whole time I was in relationship.  I’m saddened by the realization. 

Where do I go in relationships?  What happens to me in them?  What about the things I love?  Studio tours, painting and writing.  Sure they were supported but he never displayed much interest.  What does that say about him?  More importantly, what does that say about me?  That I was willing to settle, to put my needs behind someone else’s.  Sure there is compromise in relationships but come on.  Together for the better part of a year and he had yet to accompany me on an art tour?  What the hell?  I’m angry at myself.  I remember thinking before we split up I’m tired of walking alone I want to walk with someone.  The person I’m with is not that someone.

Last night was fun for a variety of reasons, I went and did something I loved.  I met some pretty nice people and I was moved by the kindness of my friend and one of the songs in particular.  It’s about break ups, it was pretty spot on.  I sang, I laughed and I had great conversations with people I just met.  It was a perfect evening.

The world this morning feels sunny, shiny and new.  Full of promise.  May it unfold in beautiful color.  Here’s to more good times like last night.

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