I am by nature reflective, I believe it important to my growth. Last night I went out and listened to live music. A friend was singing and the band was awesome. It was a great night out. I realized I hadn’t been out to listen to live music, something I love, in the whole time I was in relationship. I’m saddened by the realization.
Where do I go in relationships? What happens to me in them? What about the things I love? Studio tours, painting and writing. Sure they were supported but he never displayed much interest. What does that say about him? More importantly, what does that say about me? That I was willing to settle, to put my needs behind someone else’s. Sure there is compromise in relationships but come on. Together for the better part of a year and he had yet to accompany me on an art tour? What the hell? I’m angry at myself. I remember thinking before we split up I’m tired of walking alone I want to walk with someone. The person I’m with is not that someone.
Last night was fun for a variety of reasons, I went and did something I loved. I met some pretty nice people and I was moved by the kindness of my friend and one of the songs in particular. It’s about break ups, it was pretty spot on. I sang, I laughed and I had great conversations with people I just met. It was a perfect evening.
The world this morning feels sunny, shiny and new. Full of promise. May it unfold in beautiful color. Here’s to more good times like last night.