Fear

Fear.   How does it manifest for you?  How do you react?  What do you say to yourself?  I’ve been in touch with it lately and I’ve been quietly observing, noticing, listening.

Fear.  The voice inside yourself that says you can’t do this, this isn’t going to work, why am I putting up with this?  Fight or flight?

Fear.  The feeling of putting up barriers inside, walling up, shutting down, protecting, distancing.

Fear.  The biggest obstacle to our lives, our relationships and ultimately our fulfillment.

I am experiencing fear, it stops me in my tracks.  When my partner and I fight, it gets ugly fast.  There are all sorts of unhealthy behaviors happening on both sides.  It’s time to see our coach again because I feel the gap widening.  Too much damage is done when we fight, too much pain and hurt.  When does it become impossible to repair?  How do we trust again?

I realize I grew up in a lot of fear.  Fear of not doing the right thing, fear of not pleasing, fear when I was punished or when I wasn’t, fear of not being loved, fear of trusting myself and others.  Never knowing when the other shoe would drop, walking around on eggshells so as not to set anyone off, people pleasing.  That’s the environment I grew up in and now I seem to be in a similar space in my relationship.  Funny how that happens.

I’ve distanced myself and am observing, watching and breathing into fear. It’s an emotion like any other and it too shall pass.  What I do with what’s left when it’s gone is entirely up to me.

What do you when fear strikes?

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