Letting go

It’s been 3 weeks since I last wrote, a lot has happened since.  Grieving the loss of a relationship requires energy.  It’s amazing what happens when you let go.  I had done some energy work with a trusted friend on healing, letting go and moving on.  And then, the very week I head out on training for a new job, I get an olive branch from my former partner.

We emailed back and forth all week and he came to pick me up at the airport on what would have been the anniversary of our first date.  I was proud of myself for being so detached, I was determined not to fall back into old patterns again.  We talked, he said all the right things, we had another coaching session together and here we are a week later in a different space.

I know we’ve split up and gotten back together more times than I can count or want to at this point but this is the first time he’s come back.  In the past I was the one wanting to mend fences.  This time I was ready to walk away from it all for good.  I know I’ve written about letting go on this blog before but it’s a powerful thing.  When you get to that place, the calm and serenity I felt were fleeting but amazing.  I remember checking in with myself at the airport and I was pleasantly surprised at how calm and detached I felt seeing him.

We’ve spent a lot of time together since he picked me up a week ago.  The time together feels easier somehow.  There is a gentleness, caring and genuine love between us.  I’m sweating the small stuff less and just going with the flow. I also know I’ve spoken of things feeling different between us on this blog before so I guess in this instance, time will tell.

Christmas is a time of family and friends, of coming together despite our differences and making things right. I’m hoping the same applies to he and I and to our relationship.

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