What a difference a week makes. I go from happy, grounded and safe in my relationship to looking at the pieces shattered on the floor. It’s over. This time, I’m pretty sure it’s for good.
I’m sad today. Sad because I invested so much of myself in this relationship. I put in time, energy and effort. And for what? Here we are in splitsville again.
I know I’ve grown incredibly through this experience. I am not the same person I was 6 months ago. I’ve learnt new patterns, new insights and new ways of being in relationship. I’m proud of the work I’ve done on myself and in this relationship. I made it work more times than I can count.
I have to remember the good things and let the ugly fall away. I also have to remind myself that the relationship wasn’t working, my needs were not being met and the more I worked at it, the more tired I got of trying. Especially when there was very little reciprocation and willingness to change. I wondered whether I’d be willing to wait another year, fearful we would be in the same place. Change takes time.
So here I am. Single again. Sad. I need to detach with love, it’s what brings peace. I hope my soul can find that peace and I can let go.