Longing

I miss him.  I’ve just watched the movie 7 pounds.  Rent it, watch it, soak it in.  A movie that does what it should, remind us of our humanity, the finite time we have and the importance of making it count.

This post is for you, the man I love.  I can’t talk to you, so instead of texting, of a voicemail here is what I want to say to you.  I hope you find these words or more importantly, that these words find you.

I love you, more than words can say.  Despite everything or because of everything I love you.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  I want to get married and have children with you.  I want to build a foundation that will hold us till the end of our days when we sit in our rockers on our front porch and we still have so much to say to each other. 

You are my skiing soul mate, there is no other.  I have been searching for you my whole life and I don’t want to let you go.  I can’t let you go because I just found you.  I know you’ve been hurt, that your life hasn’t always been easy, that you have been left alone more times than you wish to remember.  I am telling you that I am not leaving, you can trust me to not give up on you or on us.  You see, I have seen and gone through my share of tough stuff too and I am here to tell you it will get better.  That it is possible to heal.  If you allow it and someone else in, change comes, moment by moment.  Day by day.

I pray you let me in, back to your insular island that keeps you safe where you are alone.  Trust me, I love you with all my heart today, tomorrow and the next.  I am here for you always and in all ways.  Be well my love.

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