Today’s post is a follow-up to my last one. It’s funny how when you least expect it a reality check will come and knock you flat on your ass. Such an occurrence happened the day after I wrote my last post. A friend of mine who has done group work with me and whom I trust implicitly gave me the opportunity to really see clearly. He mirrored something I couldn’t see. All the stuff I brought up in my last post is about me, all of it.
I’ve been granted an opportunity, a gift really, to work on my stuff. By focusing on my partner it becomes easy to shift the focus off myself. I’ve gotten so good at it I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Thus avoiding or distracting myself from what I really need to look at. I am resisting, a defense mechanism that serves to protect me from being hurt and looking at my pain. Resisting may have worked when I didn’t have any other coping strategies but now that I do I know I can protect myself and look at what is going on and grow because of it. A difficult choice nonetheless.
My partner is providing me the opportunity to love, nurture and heal myself. Therein lies the gift.