Messed up but stepping up

Today’s post was inspired by a recent episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  It’s funny I don’t have a lot of time for TV, it falls low on the list of priorities, I’d much rather read a good book instead.  There are certain shows which I follow and speak to me somehow.  Grey’s is one of them.  There is always a lesson learned at the end and I’m big on those.

So I was watching the show and burst into tears because the end spoke to me.  It spoke of trauma, how we carry it home and how it affects us in different ways.  I’ve been through trauma, more trauma than I care to speak of.  Trauma that was done to me, trauma that I put myself in the path of and it makes me wonder.  Sometimes I feel all dark and twisty and I question my place on earth.  I question my existence and my purpose.  I’ve been through so much and sometimes the ties that bind me to this earth become fragile and elusive.

I also know that because of my path I am who I am today.  Someone who does not freeze in the face of tough stuff, who gets up and moves forward and in turn maybe gets others to do so as well.  You can throw anything at me and I won’t flinch because I have profound reserves of strength.  People see that strength when they look at me.  I know I have been placed here to heal, to help others heal themselves, to affect change and at the end of the day make the world a better place in some small way.  That is my hope, that is my message and my resolve.  How it turns out I’m not sure but I’ll leave that up to the Universe.

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