Being present

Today’s post is about being present.  In the relationship I was in I often found I was seldom present.  Caught up in ghosts of the past or mirages of the future.  Not often fully present in the moment.  One of my biggest questions was: “what’s going to happen?” in this relationship, in my career and in my future.  It’s so easy to get tangled up in worrisome thoughts.

Worrying about what’s going to happen blocks us from being fully present to our life today.  Living in the here and the now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today but for tomorrow too.  Things will work out if we let them.  I hold these words dear as I process and grieve a loss.  I am exactly where I am meant to be now.  At this moment.  Now.

As I seethe in anger and use it to shovel my driveway, as I am lost in memories of our time together or in the tears that still come unbidden.  I know that this too shall pass.  I am giving myself the greatest gift by being present to my emotions and honoring both them and myself in the process.  Old me would have practiced great avoidance measures, thrown herself back onto Lavalife with a vengeance, spent money I didn’t have and find imagined solace in the arms of strangers. 

New me knows better.  Just be.  Shift happens.  I have to trust life to take its course and know I’ll come through onto the other side having loved, learned and grown immeasurably because I was fully present to life.

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