Today’s post is around how relationships trigger our stuff. I’m feeling tired and scattered today because of events that have happened in the past week so bear with me dear readers.
I’ve done a lot of group therapy work and learnt that in relationships there are always four people: you, your partner and both your inner kids. Guess who drives the bus? The inner kids of course! How else can you explain the drama? I grew up in an emotionless environment and one of the ways I must have learned to get attention, love and affection was to create drama. How else can you explain the strings of men, the chaos and ensuing pain? I learned a valuable lesson: I didn’t have to hurt myself in order for others to love me. Nor did I have to seek love, instead I learned to give it to myself and by doing so I allowed my light to shine thus inevitably attracting others.
I also learned the work I’ve done doesn’t fix me, instead it gives me an awareness and I’m able to see what happens when I spiral in relationships. I had a major blowout with the man I love on the weekend and my little girl drove the bus pretty much the whole way, I just hung along for the ride. I laugh now because it’s crazy making. Relationships trigger our stuff, it’s where we get to bring our recovery behaviours on the road and grow.
What saddens me is the pain we cause the people we love and ourselves in the process. Hurt people hurt people. The beauty is we get to repair, learn and grow stronger together. At this point I have to trust. I did an NLP exercise around the relationship and it’s all my stuff coming up. I’ve learned some valuable lessons in the process and whether or not this man is in the picture I have to feel grateful to him for a whole pile of gifts, the most important of which is reconnecting me to my inner kid and reminding me to love myself. Thus the feeling pink because to me it symbolizes how I want to feel in an ideal state and so I tap in to what that feels, looks and sounds like. Being heart centered changes the world one moment at a time, it certainly changes mine.