Between a rock and a hard place

I feel the need to explain my silence lately.  You see I haven’t been in the right headspace to date let alone write.  I’m stressed and worried about the fact I’m not working and that my benefits have run out with nary a contract in sight.  I’ve never worked so hard to find a contract or had my name put forward for so many only to have nothing materialize.  There must be a message in there somewhere.  Maybe I need to do something else, right now the prospect of slinging lattes is less than enticing.

My lack of coping skills has meant that I have spent an inordinate amount of time in bed the past few days, not dealing.  Thank goodness for the snow storm and shovelling.  I didn’t think I’d ever say that but there’s nothing like physical activity to get you out of a funk.  I almost passed out in the snowbank this afternoon and realized I haven’t been eating much.  Not good.  So tomorrow I vow to do groceries and look at my jobless situation from another angle. 

I’ve learned to cut back and live on less when I’m not working, I don’t necessarily have to go back to mind numbing federal contract work, since that doesn’t seem to be working out anyway.  My dream is to run my own little cafe and artists’ cooperative.  Something along the lines of  Groundz in Almonte.  They even have musicians come in the evenings!  As my friends can attest, I’m a good cook, I love love love to cook.  I’d like a breakfast and lunch type cafe, that way I can stick to what I’m good at.  Soups, salads, sandwiches, chili and desserts, that sort of thing.  Oh!  I’d be in heaven if I could do that, I know it would be hard work but when your heart is engaged in something it’s different, right?

Oh universe hear my prayers and put the right opportunity in my path!


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