It seems that lately I’ve been in a reflective mood. Thinking of the past, what it is I really want and what the future might look like. I used to have this set of characteristics I looked for in a partner and I used to go around measuring the guys I dated with this laundry list. Since I am still single it obviously hasn’t brought me much success.
I’m a master NLP practitioner and during my masters training I had to sit down and evaluate what were my top five values in relationships. I remember this exercise particularly well because I was getting frustrated. You see my laundry list didn’t work, it was in fact causing me aggravation. So instead a brilliant colleague suggested I look at how I felt when I painted. I came up with this amazing list of what it is I seek in relationships with this new mindset. In order for me to be happy in a relationship there must be trust, worth, freedom, allowing and openess. You see they all feed into each other, in order to trust I have to feel worthy, and that I have freedom, an allowance to be and an openess.
I believe it really comes down to trust. Trusting myself to know what it is I want, what it will feel like when I get there, what I’ll see and hear and what is it I’ll be telling myself. The power of NLP comes from being able to shift mind, body, behaviour and emotions so successfully. Here’s hoping it transcends to the relationship with the object of my desire.