Today’s post is on the topic of long distance love, it was this time of year a decade or so ago when I experienced my first long distance love affair. I was in the military in what seemed like another life and was dating a great man who went away on a training course. We spent a few months apart as both he and I were on seperate courses. Back then the only way of keeping in touch was with snail mail and the phone. The time apart was good for both of us as the relationship was brand new and it gave us the opportunity to connect on another level and get to know each other better. I remember sending and receiving care packages, he did good, I even got lingerie! Of course seeing each other after all that time apart was extra special, not to mention torrid!
My second experience was based around meeting a guy on Lavalife, the guy was from northern Ontario, seperated with kids. We chatted and talked on the phone for 6 weeks before he came to Ottawa, by the time he got here I was head over heels in love with the guy. He ended up loving me and leaving me, breaking my heart in the process. The experience raises an important question. How do you fall in love with someone you’ve never met through chat and the internet? How does that happen? Is it the idea of the man you build in your mind? Do you get wrapped up in the whole fantasy? What happens to us when we fall for someone we haven’t even met? I know the whole affair happened gradually for me. I’m a fairly intense person so it quickly escalated. Emails back and forth every day, phone calls, intimacies big and small shared, and before I knew it, I had fallen for him. What I didn’t know where his intentions. I was ready to follow him if things worked between us, he on the other hand no intention of changing the way his life was. Had I known, I would have called the whole thing off and saved myself the heartache. I hear stories from my friends who are dating online about long distance interests, I wonder why they put themselves through the trouble. The chances of finding your soul mate are slim enough, do you really think you’ll find him in Timbuktu? I guess it’s maybe the remote possibility we cling to.
My last experience with long distance love is a different story. The guy contacted me through Lavalife while he was in Ottawa because of work, we chatted and never ended up meeting. He wanted to stay in touch so when he went back out west he dropped me a line. I was wondering what the point was since I thought I’d never actually meet the guy. It’s funny what happens when you start chatting with someone, what transpires and develops. Now I feel lucky for knowing him. He’s a great guy and were he in the same city as me I’d date and probably marry him in a heartbeat but he’s in Alberta and on a career track. So I’m not sure what will happen, let alone when I’ll see him. I’m staying realistic and grounded with this one. No getting my heart broken again by long distance love.
I’ll keep you posted.
What about you? What are your long distance love stories? Did they work out or not? Weigh in!