Sex on the first date?

I’ve had a good friend of mine reading my posts regularly, I especially respect his male opinion.  His biggest comment so far is to infuse my writing with more emotion.  Now I have no problems expressing my emotions but *gulp* this is a public blog.  Does the outside world really want to know how I’m feeling?  His answer: a resounding yes!  So without further ado here it is!

Today’s post is going to be on the touchy subject of whether or not to have sex on the first date.  Now having been on many, many dates, I can say sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.  I haven’t really measured either outcome with any sort of statistical precision but I’m still single so draw your own conclusions.  Now I approach the idea of sex on a first date from various aspects, such as the all important “am I going to be seeing this person again?”  “I am horribly attracted to the guy and want to just jump his bones.”  “Or is this person long term relationship material?  In which case I’m going to take my sweet time.” 

Now I’ve had lots of guys tell me in no uncertain terms that if I put out on a first date then sionara, I’m so history.  You’d think the reverse would be true wouldn’t you?  “Gee sex with this girl is amazing, I so want more of this.”  Unfortunately in my experience that’s not often the case.  Instead I’ll get the typical I’ll call you line and then *poof* I never hear or see the guy again.  Now more often than not this pisses me off.  Don’t say you’re going to call unless you are.  Oh I’ve gone through my period of going out seeking one night stands and nothing bugs me more than the guy saying he’s going to call.  No don’t call, don’t email, don’t text, if I wanted you to I would have asked for your last name.  Sometimes I can barely remember your first.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been more than upset on more than one occasion when a guy I really liked didn’t call, especially when I thought the date had gone well but I made the grievous error of sleeping with him on the first date.

I’ve had guys say the opposite, after much investment in terms of online chat and texting that they’d be disappointed if things didn’t work out when we first met and it wouldn’t be because we had slept together.  A nice modern approach to the whole thing n’est-ce pas?  I don’t know, I invariably think it’s the difference in hardwiring between the sexes that accounts for the difference in how sex on the first date is approached.  Most guys don’t put a whole hell of a lot of thought let alone emotion into sex whereas with women it all happens in the brain and boy do we emote.  Is that a stereotype?  Am I off base?

Weigh in, tell me what you think.

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One thought on “Sex on the first date?

  1. JB says:

    Funny cuz lately I’ve found (through plentyoffish.com) that women who send racy pix of themselves or talk about sex too quickly, I have no interest in . I must be
    maturing… My thought is… if she’s doing this with me, she’s gotta
    be doing this with others, so how is it special? It’s easy to get
    laid… difficult or damned near impossible to find a soul mate, especially in the virtual world.

    I’ve been messaging/texting/phoning one gal for almost two months now
    and we only went out for the first time last week. Had a great time –
    just a drink and munchies while we watched a game in a bar. Very low
    key and it was GREAT.
    Sunday we’re going out for brunch. This is the slowest I’ve ever moved and I really like the approach. It doesn’t hurt that she too, is a single parent, pretty cool too and a total hottie. 😉

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